Conversations in the time of Technology

I remember when I joined Facebook. It was (and is) so much better than MySpace. I found people on Facebook from High School and College that I hadn't seen or heard from since then. It is a lovely privilege to see my classmates babies, wedding pictures, and vacations. It's nice to touch base and connect with them in a moment's notice. I did enjoy "25 things you don't know about me", some of them were silly, but most were intriguing. Just a little bit of low grade voyeurism.

The downfall, however, of social networking is the same downfall as the state of the world today. Conversations have lost their most personal part; the connection between two voices. People don't have to call each other. No one gets excited from hearing anyone's voices anymore, besides, how can you hear their voices over the typing? They're on Mafia Wars, Farmville and tweeting from their twizdroids. I don't know how we find time to meet up. Half the time people are late because they had to harvest their crops, build a barn or meet up with a mob boss. Honestly?

It's not that I hate technology. I love it. I think the iPhone is the best invention of this century. But even that efficient device drives me a little mad. I don't appreciate text kisses and hugs. I abhor picture mail and chain text messages. Is the thought that reading a kiss or hug can give the same emotion as experiencing one? Is it really one for one? Does one replace the other? It seems to me that people think that text actually counts as real conversation. To me, texting doesn't count for shit. It annoys me that people will take the time to text you back and forth consistently for an hour, but once you get up, go to the bathroom and put a load of clothes in the washer or drier and you actually call them, you can't reach them. Hmmm....

I don't anticipate that my skin will turn to metal any day soon. I do wonder and worry that some of my friends' bones have already been replaced by metal, like Anakin Skywalker's and that one day their brains and hearts will follow. I don't think they're worried though. They'll just CTRL+ALT+DLT, breathe and reboot. Damn PC users.

I have been looking forward to this week for quite some time. Cinco de Mayo has always been a joy for me. Not because I have any Mexican heritage, but because I enjoy good friends, good drinks and sunshine. This Cinco was no exception. I spoke with my parents as they ate breakfast. They were curious as to if I had had my first margarita yet...lol. On Facebook, my BFF reminisced about us walking home from Hacienda. Mmmmm, Hacienda on Cinco de Mayo. A WGHS c/o 1996 mini-reunion for sure.

This week the sun has outdone itself. A totally prototypical spring week. Between Monday and Friday, I've never been blinded so many blue skies and white clouds! There was no excuse not to come out! I joined friends at Cactus Cantina where margaritas flowed like milk and honey. Swirls, Cadillacs, Cadillac Gold...lovely.

Looking forward to the next one ;)

Spring has not sprung!

I wish I could lay here and tell you that spring has sprung. I can do no such thing. Spring was taken hostage by El Nino over April 6th and 7th. I almost had a sentinel event in Starbucks...not pretty. It felt as though I were in a cave, submerged in water. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't hear, I could hardly stand up straight. My mouth went dry and salty and I was sure I was going to pass out or throw up or both. After closing my eyes for what seemed like an eternity, I was okay.

Couldn't eat or drink the rest of that day though.

The streets, the cars...anything that would sit still long enough was covered in pollen. The same yellow-green pollen that adorned St. Louis while I was home for Easter. I couldn't escape it! No one could. You could wipe or hose your car down but sure enough, it came right back within an hour or two. Even just on the walk to the apt from the metro stop, my jacket was covered in a fine thin layer. I love the sunshine, but I was praying for the rain to melt the pollen away. Gotta love photosynthesis and respiration.

With great weather comes great responsiblity. The responsiblity is yours to get to Lauriol Plaza before there's no parking and the wait is longer than an hour. The responsibility is also yours to make sure that you have enough wine to make sangria, or just chill out on the fire escape with Shiraz-Grenache. Sleep with the windows open when you can and enjoy the next weeks. In the infernal months to come, we'll want these days back.

Snowpocalypse 2010

The snow is driving me insane. Tomorrow is my birthday and I always take time off from work. This year was no different; I have eight days off. Enter Snowpocalypse 2010. No fun with friends or enemies. Just time for quiet reflection and phone calls. Shoot me now!

The snow makes me...crazy! It makes people on the bus and the metro sit closer to you so they can drip on you. It is beautiful as it falls, but becomes the ugliest mess when it gets plowed and turns black with dirt and smut. The snow makes me claustrophobic, like it's got me trapped inside my apartment. I can't escape it! Something about the snow is romantic, though. It seems like it would be nice to be cuddled up under a blanket watching it snow...for all of five minutes, give or take ten percent. The snow makes my socks wet and my boots icky. It also makes me come inside and start melting like the little boy from the Campbell's soup commercial. The snow has robbed me of birthday parties from the get-go. The snow and I are not friends unless I'm gathering it in my hands to make snowball to hit someone with, or sledding, or tubing. I love the soft, dry powdery snow. The kind that makes a crunchy-swishy noise when you walk in it in your boots. However, the wet heavy snow is cool when making ammo ;)

I was born under similar circumstances. My mother was at a labor class when her water broke. The weather was bad so they admitted her, which led to almost 24 hours of labor, complete with pitocin and forceps. I think I stalled. I saw the light of day and tried to turn around. Ah, to no avail. I am a February baby, complete with icy temperament to match the weather.

My childnood neighbor said, " happy birthday Ice Princess! You made it snow for your birthday!" That captures my essence. Happy February!

Sitting on my Hands....

I sit on my hands to stifle my mouth, so I won't say what I really want to. Hopefully this makes it easier for people that aren't emotionally equipped to handle what I have to say. One part of me says it's a good idea not to say what's on my mind because sometimes people aren't ready for it, be it good or bad. I feel like it's a good idea to be dishonest and quiet to keep the peace. That way I only have to deal with how I feel about it. Then I get resentful because everyone wants to pretend like it's all good all the time and it's not. The layers of subterfuge and bullshit beneath it all, like a chocolate layer cake. What kind of person can I be in your life, pretending? I guess I'm supposed to know my place and fit into it as you see fit. I'll just tell you what you want to hear.

I am quite the work of art. A visionary thinker, a creative beacon of light. An Aquarian goddess of sorts. I've been charted (astrologically) and I don't find much Libra in my mix. I am surrounded by so many (Libras), they must balance out what I lack in my chart. Still I find myself weighing my own options and opinions, looking for whatever balance I can find.


The other part of me wants to tell people to man up. You have to know that you won't always like what I have to say, let alone agree with it. My opinion and my skewed view of life is what makes me me. Would you want me any other way? Don't answer that. The other part of me wants to make sure that people know exactly where I stand each time we talk. And if for some reason you don't get it, I want to drive the concept home. I've been told that I think too much. Maybe I'm just thinking extra for those that don't think at all.

So, I'm going back to my chair, to sit on my hands some more. And no, I can't sit on my mouth. Trust me, someone would've tried that by now.

The more things change, the more they stay the same..

Right around the first week of December, I begin to realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. A new year, filled with so much promise and splendor (and jeans and black boots). I get my nails done on December 31st and wear my round-toe pumps. I toast at midnight and immediately call my Momma :) It's not until January 3rd or 4th that I realize that it's still the same. The same work-weeks, the same blustering cold wind, and the same D6 bus. The same runny nose, the same mittens, and the same Stacey.

Because my birthday falls so early into the year, February 10th be exact, I spend a lot of time in quiet introspection (quiet, lol!), pondering what I've accomplished in the last year. Every year, I sit in amazement in all that has happened in the last year, good and bad, happy and sad, temporary and permanent. How did I have time to fit it all in?

525, 600 minutes. A year. It's so hard to believe that so many minutes synthesize to become a year. All it takes is one minute to change things for a lifetime, for better or worse. One minute to befriend or defriend someone on Facebook :) One minute to comfort someone, one minute to reduce them to tears or tear them down. One minute to hug someone (longer if you're a skilled hugger), one minute to kiss someone (if you suck at kissing :), or one minute to turn around and make sure that's the last time you see someone. It blows my mind how one minute you are alive and breathing and the next you may not be. You may be a memory. I'm so upbeat!

In the last 525, 600 minutes, I have been reminded countless times how much can happen in a minute and how much of an impact it can have on my life. I've also been reminded just as many times of those that have been with me through all of the ups and downs and in-betweens and I've been surprised! It's not always who I think will be there. I don't do well with surprises, but I'm trying to be patient and take it one minute at a time. I'm learning to take something with me from each minute; the good ones and the bad ones.

Two Of Us

One of my favorite songs in the whole wide world is a Beatles song called "Two of Us". I love this song for many reasons. One reason being that it describes two people on their way back home from mindless excursions. Case in point, yesterday. After the Blizzard of 2009 rendered us senseless from cabin fever, Kami and I decided to meet in Columbia Heights. We knew 14th st would be plowed and it surely was!! After a C+ lunch, we decided to walk to her house to her car and go to Silver Spring because we figured that 16th and Georgia Av would be a go (and they both were), but the walk from Target to her house was quite interesting and eventful. We scaled bridges, skated, spoke with our neighbors and sang Christmas carols. Hmmmm. My feet get cold, wet and tingly just thinking about it.

I have been blessed this year to have so many "Two of Us" like moments with friends and family. Many moments where I have felt very happy to be exactly where I am right now and nowhere else. I even had a moment like that the day of the car accident. I know how I am--I am me, and that's not always clear cut. I won't apologize for that. I refuse to apologize for being myself. If you don't like it, don't deal with it. However, I just hope that all of my close friends know that I love them and will continue to do so in the new year.

Anxiously awaiting my family's arrival--

Stacey